I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she told me i tasted like america
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
