I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
