I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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