I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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