it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
