and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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