We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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