We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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