So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
