called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
