drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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