You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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