This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
