The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
