I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
