Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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