google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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