I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
