I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
kristin has been a bad kristin
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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