Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
