their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
