ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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