You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
