Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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