You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
