Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
