I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
