Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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