i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
