Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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