he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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