he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
