the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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