i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
