He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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