do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
