So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
