break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
