He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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