i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
