We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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