I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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