i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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