I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i think i just lost a toe
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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