i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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