Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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