I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
