Don't make out with my wife yet
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
