When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
