I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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