Your tits are I can't wait for
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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