is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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