Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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