my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
