His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
