8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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