I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
