I just saw a hot homeless man
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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