hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
These tits shall not be calmed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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