Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
