WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
