i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
