so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize