whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
