I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
