i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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