Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's like heaven, but drunker
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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