I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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